Tomorrow...it's the day...
- Heather Cushing-Gordon
- Sep 9, 2020
- 6 min read
Well, tomorrow is the day that my kids go back to school. It's kind of surreal. I'm not too sure if I believe it to be honest.
I'm a little numb, I think.
Anyways, in our province we could make a decision between virtual school and in class. Although it seems initially like a decision between the health of my children (virtual school would obviously keep them out of the line of fire) or financial security (in class would obviously ensure that I could work at my regular rate), it turns out that this entire period of time away from what my kids know and love about life, which is their friends, is truly the only deciding factor. To go to school means that my kids mental health is back on track.
Or at least, this is what we can imagine before actually sending them into the "trenches".
Now let's be very clear about something. I am not suggesting by any stretch that our kids mental health is going to be fully solved by heading back into a classroom setting. As we all know, the children are going back to extremely different circumstances, one's that are likely to have a significant impact on our children's mental health in one way or another.
So I've developed a plan that will help support my children in their return to school process. I've developed a plan to help them understand what it is that they need to do in order to stay safe as well as sane.
Here it is:
Make this an opportunity. If my kids think of this as an opportunity to do something that they've longed to do since March 2020, then part of their conscious thought and unconscious thinking has already made a decision about what it's going to look like and be like. If I get my kids excited about going back to school, then they ultimately will be excited about going back to school. The reality is that no one really knows what it's going to look like a few weeks from now, but we have a duty to help our kids feel like going back to school - whether it be in class or virtual school - is the best thing that's ever happened. If we can do that, then our kids will be off to a good start.
Prepare them for all the things they will need. My kids have sanitizer, they have their books and pencils, they have new backpacks. They are ready. That has been our focus. We have focused on getting all the supplies so that it "feels" just like a regular first day of school. If you are doing virtual school, the same would apply, you'll want your kids to feel like a trip to the store in a mask is a regular everyday kind of event that you do when you are heading back to school.
Teach them all the things you think they will need to know. Wear a mask, go to places, talk through it and get them ready to do things they need to do in a mask. Teach them how to sanitize their hands and wash their hands properly before school so that they are ready and able to do what they need to do. Show them how to wear a mask properly, fix them up with their name in "fancy" jewelry and/or lanyard to help them keep them while they eat lunch or go out for recess. Jazz this whole "new world" reality up so that your kids know that it is what it is and they can make it what they want. It's all "in the eye of the beholder" is the perspective I'm taking. It's taken me a long time to get here, but now that I'm here and I need to make the best of this situation.
The other thing that I'm doing to help prepare myself for what will come in the next few weeks is my self care routine. Parents are stressed to the max right now. There are so many pressures all over and not just from this return to school that we are all doing. I'm talking about significant mental health pressures that just keep coming. The stress is immense and the tension anywhere you go is something you could cut with a knife. It's all real. I talk with clients all the time about this, the underbelly of Covid-19 is the toll it is taking on our collective Mental Health. Six months ago we watched the entire world shut down, unsure of what this all meant. Today we're sending our kids off to the unknown. It hardly seems fair to have so little control over what the future is.
BUT...
You can control some things. You can. The things might be a little different than normal, but they are still there to be controlled. Instead of controlling exactly where your career is going, now you can control your mindset and how you can think and respond to whatever may come when you are told not so great news about your agency/company and their uncertain futures. It's not easy, but it is doable. I believe in you. So let's start today. Here are the 7 keys to a successful mindset for the overly stressed out, can't sleep at night, worry-wart parent:
Get sleep. If you wake early, go to bed earlier than normal. If you stay awake late, get up a little later, it's ok.
Set a time to get up. Even if you change your routines around a little, try to keep to a wake up routine. This will help you normalize this transition period as much as possible.
Me time. It doesn't really matter what it is, just take a few mins each day to ground yourself and be present. I like to do yoga, meditate and journal for a few minutes each day. Maybe you are a walker. Do what you know will help you feel like you, even if it feels like it lasts for a few seconds before your return to chaos.
Take media breaks. Watching to get information is one thing, watching to dwell is another thing completely. Turn it off, do something else, the bad news will still be there when you return to it.
Eat well. Each day make sure you get food into you. This is the time that your children need you the most. The absolute most. If your brain isn't firing on all cylinders because you forgot to each lunch, you aren't doing anyone any favours. Eat the food so you can do what you need to do.
Move your body. The how doesn't matter, but the why is to stay healthy and live a long happy life. Plus the more you move, the better your body will adapt to this new reality. Stress melts away when you move. If you don't move, stress hangs onto you like a bad smell. Wash that away with a walk, bike, run, yoga, whatever it takes. Move.
Speak kindness. Everyone is in this same situation. No one necessarily likes it. But we can't take our kids out of their game forever. Teachers are doing their best going back into classrooms for us, in person or online. If you speak kindness, kindness rubs off and moves in all different directions. If you are talking to a negative person, they need your help to see the positive. Look at it as an opportunity to share and spread your kindness and positive outlook.
If you need support in anyway, please reach out. In the meantime, please upload these pictures and read through them as part of your daily motivational practice. Enjoy!
Peace and Love,
Heather xo
Heather Cushing-Gordon is Behaviour Analyst and Parent Coach. Heather is on a mission to bring the practices of Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) to family homes across the world. Her approach is to simplify things and to help families find balance in their fast paced lives. She has worked with children and their families with disabilities, however, Heather wants to bring the strategies she uses with her clients to everyone's home. For over 20 years she has cultivated a variety of techniques to engage families in supporting their children. For more information, please visit her on
Instagram at www.instagram.com/behaviourcafe and on
Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BehaviourCafe
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